Top tips to deal with a child who is biting!

Unfortunately biting is a very common behaviour among toddlers, which means there are a lot of concerned parents out there, but don’t worry as you are not alone.

The good news is, we have top tips to reduce and ultimately eliminate biting altogether.

Why do Children Bite?

Children can bite for a number of reasons and most of them aren’t intentionally malicious. We have come up with some common reasons to help explain why your child is biting!

• They’re in pain. Babies bite usually when they’re teething. This is their way of relieving the pain of their swollen, tender gums.
• They’re exploring their world. Very young children will use their mouths to explore, just as they use their hands. Everything they pick up eventually ends up in their mouths and at this young age, are unable to prevent themselves from biting the object of their interest.
• They’re looking for a reaction. Part of exploration is curiosity and toddlers love to experiment to see what kind of reaction their actions will provoke. They’ll bite down on a friend or siblings arm, not realising how painful the experience is for that person.
• They’re craving attention. In older children, biting is just one of the several bad behaviours often used to get attention. When a child feels ignored, discipline is at least one way of getting noticed even when the attention is negative rather than positive.
• They’re frustrated. Biting, like hitting, is a way for some children to assert themselves when they’re still too young to express feelings effectively through words. To your child, biting is a way to get back a favourite toy, tell you that he or she is unhappy, or let another child know that he or she wants to be left alone.
• They are overtired. If your child has not slept well, it’s best to avoid stressful situations such as play dates in order to reduce the possibility of a biting incident.

How to prevent and Stop Biting once and for all!

• Always be prepared.  If your baby is teething, make sure to always have a cool teething ring or washcloth on hand so he or she will be less likely to sink teeth into someone’s arm.
• Keep to a routine.  Make sure that all of your child’s needs are taken care of such as eating and nap time, before you go out to play. Bring along a snack to soothe your child if he or she gets cranky from being hungry.
• Regular breaks.  Sometimes, shortening activities or giving your child a break can help prevent the rising frustration that can lead to biting and other bad behaviours.
• Give them your Attention.  Give your child enough of your time throughout the day so he or she doesn’t bite just to get attention. Extra attention is especially important when your child is going through a major life change, such as a move or welcoming a baby sibling.
• Be on alert. If your child is prone to biting, keep an eye on any playmates and be ready to step in when an altercation appears to be brewing.
• Reward good behaviour.  Remember to praise your child when they use words to share their feelings, for example:  You asked me for a turn blowing bubbles instead of grabbing them. Great job.  Here you go.

How to deal with the child when they have bitten another child

1. Dont Label your Child.  To effectively address this challenge, avoid calling or thinking of your child as a “biter” and ask others not to use this term.  Labelling children can actually lead to them taking on the identity assigned to them, which can intensify biting behaviour rather than eliminate it.
2. Tell them why it is wrong.  Explain to the child that our teeth are for chewing food and not for biting people.
3. Encourage them to talk.  Put into words what you guess your child might be thinking, for example: Harry, do you want to have a turn on the tricycle?  You can ask Alfie, Can I have a turn now?

Trying your best to understand the underlying cause of the biting will help you develop an effective response.  This makes it more likely that you will be successful in eliminating the behaviour altogether!

Children bite in order to cope with a challenge or fulfil a need.  Most children bite to express a strong feeling (like frustration), communicate a need for personal space (maybe another child is standing too close) or to satisfy a need for oral stimulation.

As long as everyone is consistent it will work.

What WONT work to stop biting?

Shaming or harsh punishment do not reduce biting, but they do increase your child’s fear and worry which can actually increase biting incidents.  Aggressive responses like these also do not teach your child the social skills he or she needs to cope with the situations that trigger biting.

Biting your child back, which some might suggest, is not a useful response.  There is no research to show this behaviour reduces biting.  However, it does teach your child that it’s okay to bite people when you are upset!  Keep in mind that human bites can be dangerous, and biting constitutes child abuse.  This is not an appropriate response to toddler biting.

When do I seek help for my toddler?

While biting is very common behaviour, it usually stops by the age of 3 to 3 1/2.  If your child continues to bite, or the number of bites increases instead of decreases over time, it is probably a good idea to request an assessment from a child development specialist.

This professional can help you identify the reason for the biting and develop a strategy for addressing the behaviour.  Remember, there is no quick fix.

Over time, and with assistance, your child will stop biting and use more appropriate ways to express her needs.

If you have experienced your child biting, then we would love to hear from you.

Sharing your experience and how you dealt wit the situation will help other parents realise that they are not alone.

Post a comment below or on our on our facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Look4Nurseries.co.uk